“Dancing with the shadows while I close my eyelids. I am addicted to the feeling of my senses being amplified while my sight is withdrawn, either by closing my eyes or using my Drishti. Coming into meditation gets easier the more you practice. Being in meditation is pure love. Leaving meditation is ok, as you’re still feeling the love and are able to more freely and easily give that love. The only danger, I find, is the want to stay in meditation forever. This want can take you from the present moment and rob you of living a life. Craving that which brings us so much joy is just that, a craving. Not something to mourn about. Just a pleasant thought to let pass. Knowing that when the moment is right you will return to this special space/place/love. I think it’s a practice to become content living in both worlds.” -Kate
My mediation has evolved many times since writing that. I never knew it could do that, evolve so many times. It started in 2012 with Savasana at the end yoga, then it became my Yoga. Over the years it bloomed into movement, then sound, then a ceremonies. Now it is whenever I want to dive in; while in line at the grocery store, washing dishes, paddle boarding, on my mat… anytime I want. It has felt like a gift, over and over again that I’m given. Though i feel as if it is just life that I’m living. A life that is aware and true. As if the life I had before had a thick veil over my eyes. I suppose im Becoming as i shed the past and plant good seeds.
The end of 2018 was when my life and meditation grew at a fast rate. I was exposed to so many beautiful techniques of connecting to… God, Universe, The collective consciousness or whatever one might call this ‘unseen’ ‘feeling’. There are many many techniques to meditating, I did a lot of different ones. All great in their own way. Though I started to feel a little ungrounded and like I needed to put my feet in one boat, instead of many. I wanted to learn one way and learn it well. I eventually chose the ancient technique called Vipassana; the oldest Buddhist mediation practice. I fell in love with it because of the simplicity of it. There are no rituals, no sounds, no movements, no controlling of the breath, non-sectarian. It is gentle. Yet very very powerful.
The technique is taught at Vipassana Centers, all around the world. I attended my first 10 day sit the beginning of 2019. During these 10 days you are off the grid, you observe noble silence and keep to yourself while meditating for about 11 hours a day. The center is a place where you can learn, ask questions, be fed and only worry about your mediation. Sure, it takes a few days to settle the mind of the ‘to do’ list, the silly thoughts, and settle into your cushion. The ‘magic’ begins at some point. And it is so true and beautiful. Painful at times, but that is growth.
I have decided to dedicate myself to this practice over the next year, and probably a life time. 2020 I will be sitting (meditating) and serving (volunteering) at the Vipassana center(s) as much as possible. I have felt the benefit from this technique and been witness to my own self and the change over the last year. I wish to dive deeper and also help support others who wish to meditate and grow. While at the center I will be off the grid completely. I will always make sure my clients are taken care of before I leave and inform them when I’m gone. My business will continue, and continue to grow to support not only myself but also my dear clients.
Two things I focused on intently last year were my cravings and aversions. It could be as ‘simple’ as observing why i walked out of the room so fast. Or why do I ‘feel’ I NEED this person to understand me. To become aware of ones self is to be closer to liberation. I am always observing the sensations within. Our bodies show us so much, we just need to be aware of them.
Thank you for understand and supporting. If you have any questions about anything mentioned above you can always email me :D. I hardly scratched the surface ;). You can also check out the link below if you are curious about Vipassana.
Also enjoy some of my favorite images. When I walk with friends I try to bring my macro and usually fall in love with at least one little plant along the trail.
Much love 😀
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